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Yes, yes, I know: you’re an excellent Twatter, and if you got your only zinger off this list to get 50 likes, you’re bordering on crime. Likewise, this reporter is a negligent list creator for overlooking a spicy day when your favorite trader-no influencer colorfully described Brad Garlinghouse’s anatomy.

If it’s any consolation please know that I hate the hell site as much as you do. The year was terrible for almost the entire planet, and although cryptocurrencies enjoyed a strong secular bull market, everyone still managed to come together, rise above adversity, and treat each other horribly anyway. I looked up one of these tweets, expecting it to be mid-fall, and had a mild aneurysm when I realized it was first posted two weeks ago.

Logging into Cryptotwitter – a place where some of the brightest LARP participants are like little animals with a two-week lifespan, where billionaires might tell you to commit fornication with your mom, where you routinely ask yourself, “Good God, why would anyone make porn out of Spongebob? “ – is subjecting itself to an endless series of degradations. In the words of the Italian sculptor Alberto Giacometti, “between things, between people, bridges are broken; the emptiness slips in everywhere, every creature secretes its own emptiness. “I check it every morning when I first wake up.

This is not a list of the “best” tweets because there are no good tweets. Nor should they be construed as prizes, as the only honorary title that can be won is to be able to say “I have disabled my account”. Some of them are funny, but you probably won’t think so and you’re going to toast me in the DMs. Please God let 2021 be shorter than 2020.

Happy holidays and a good new year, monkeys.

Bullinger tires

John Bollinger is a living legend of the trade, a man whose contributions to the field are known even to weekend warriors who taught themselves technical analysis in their spare time. His 2001 book, Bollinger on Bollinger Bands, is a classic that has been translated into 11 languages. However, according to Crypto Twitter, it’s a ‘simplicity’.

In late November, Bollinger mentioned a possible top formation on Bitcoin:

In response, Crypto Twitter gave him the company:

Somehow, the largely playful and deeply confusing back and forth that ended with Bollinger proclaiming himself ‘your favorite simplicity’.

For what it’s worth, the epee army was also right: BTC sailed past its levels with ease. Bullinger bands, indeed.

Monkeys in the wild

@CryptoMessiah is a good follow-up: nice, an excellent trader and refreshingly open about the fact that he will eventually dump his bags on you. His semi-weekly Uniswap Gemhunting streams are a high point for risky play, but his biggest contribution could be a simple three-word sentence:

“Ape together strong” – crypto’s own version of “send it.” Like the ‘pump it, Loomdart’ of yore, it has become the mantra of a new bullmarket, the battle cry of countless swords eagerly standing on plain carpets.

Still, even geniuses can’t always get it right:

Where social tokens belong

From Bankless podcast presenter David Hoffman, a two-act play.

Act one:

Act II:

Personal tokens are bad and should die by 2020.

Settings are coming

They were nibbling in early 2020 – and now it seems like just about everyone wants to take a big bite.

While MicroStrategy and Grayscale seemed to be in a race to see who could steal the most headlines with absurd Bitcoin purchases, other institutions such as JPMorgan and Goldman Sachs also started dipping their toes in the cryptocurrency waters. According to statistical research it is a trend this will only accelerate until 2021 as big name banks and funds try to secure their crypto positions with every dip.

Indeed, it’s a trend that is starting to make a commenter’s tweet seem downright prophetic:

Punt, Maisie

Elon Musk has set up a troll clinic all year round. Where 2019 was a bit of a flop – he took a self-hold by filing himself in a SEC lawsuit – in 2020 he managed to keep his nose clean and had fun spends its energies bullying Bitcoin believers.

One example was a prototypical Reply Guy for Maisie Williams, the young actress who became famous for playing Arya Stark on Game of Thrones. Williams threw an innocent enough question into the digital airwaves:

This caused a soft ripple from Musk, who pretended not to be such a geek that he could name Arya’s lineage going back three generations:

Williams eventually got the last laugh, but turned the concept behind Musk’s quip back to him:

Brian Armstrong rolls it back

As Musk’s behavior shows, everyone on Twitter – including powerful CEOs – seems to behave at times with a blatant disdain for their own careers. Brian Armstrong, Coinbase CEO, is no different.

After announcing a “no politics that I don’t likeMandate, in a now deleted tweet, Armstrong – no less during normal working hours – has reposted a crazy blog from another CEO filled with untruths, including the shocking claim that one of Joe Biden’s sons took his own life to escape the political spotlight.

Despite colossal mismanagement that has led to an exodus of workers and public scrutiny, Armstrong is likely to fall upwards towards a huge salary if / when Coinbase goes public. And the man can’t even perform stable exchange!

Personally, I aim to bring Armstrong’s energy into 2021: do a great job everywhere and still get a raise. What an absolute icon.

I’m rubber, you’re a wounded person

One of the idiosyncrasies that define the broader Ethereum mythos is that the father of Ether, co-founder Vitalik Buterin, is an active and seemingly highly spiritual tweeter, taking folk wisdom about weightlifting and new-age philosophy to the trend line on the mainstream market.

One of his more charming pieces is an entirely uplifting body of work that came when a merchant sent some barbs his way. Trying to insult Buterin is an exercise in futility, since the man is a walking koan:

The man affectionately known as ‘Dima’ could lead us all to nirvana in the new year:

Illegal nodes

Decentralized funding is a dangerous beast that often comes on a range Ponzi schemes stacked on top of each other. An emerging vertical with big ambitions, at best DeFi really appears to be the future of the financial world, and at worst it replicates the hollowed-out foundations of the cynical, boom-bust financial infrastructure it wants to replace.

However, lawmakers trying to propose rules to guide DeFi to stability appear to be planning to throw out an entire orphanage with the bathwater, as Uniswap founder Hayden Adams noted:

Here’s regulation that doesn’t “accidentally” prohibit running nodes in the New Year.

Andre doesn’t owe you anything

Some people lost money on some of Andre’s projects because they closed contracts before they were even announced. Some people have lost money because they have more apt than they should. Some people lost money because they treated Andre like a Messianic figure, believing that he could do no harm.

In all cases, Andre does not owe you anything.

Global PvE activated

Much of 2020 was made up of the same 40 traders dumping each other, pulling rugs together, and everyone trying to get an easy victory in a landscape full of cynical, smart and vicious competitors.

But as another bull run arrives and retailers start to pile up, the days of PvP (player versus player) are over:

On success, money and better decisions in the new year.

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